From my journal:
10/12/09
My first class took place this morning.
My first thought at closing the door safely behind me in my room…teaching will be a humbling job.
I made some stupid mistakes in the first class, and oh help me to rejoice in Your grace and power to overcome my shortcomings. I did too much on the fly – deciding at the last minute to do an expectations skit instead of following with my original plan. The skit took way too long, and the students didn’t understand what to do at first. When we came back for the second half of class, they were still doing their skits.
We didn’t even get through the list of pronunciation terms that I am supposed to cover with them for the first lesson. I ran out of time while they were copying the terms, and I had to cut them short, take the lists from them and tell them to finish next time. I barely eked out their homework assignment, and only hope they understood.
The worst mistake I made, I think, was showing signs of anger. I wasn’t thinking. While filling out the seating chart and making sure everyone had an English name, half of the class started talking (I should have counted on it that they would – I gave them nothing to do). I became silent, waiting for them to be quiet, and I’m afraid I had a mean look on my face. I was, unthinkingly, trying to be stern. It was a gross mistake. In training, the faculty made clear to us that we wouldn’t be forgiven by students if we ever showed signs of anger.
I even sssh’ed people, which is ridiculous. I never planned to do that, but it came out.
I chose a class monitor in front of everyone. I’m not sure if I was supposed to do that, but I think perhaps it would have been better another way. He stood up immediately and said it would be an honor, and turned and said, “If my class wishes me to be the monitor.” And everyone said yes in unison and started clapping. I asked him so quickly, as if it were nothing, and he stood up like he’d been elected president.
5:45 pm -- Wow, the night and day difference. My morning class was nothing like the afternoon ones. The students didn’t change – I did. My lesson plan was completely revised for the second class, and things felt much better. I didn’t run out of time, yet somehow talked through everything at a much slower pace than the first time.
10/15/09
Tired, discouraged, overwhelmed. I finished my first week of teaching today. I had a low-level class this morning that did not go very well.
Then I had my first Chinese lesson at 2:40. I admit I wasn’t excited. I half-hoped that the tutor would not show. But like a good tutor, she did, and now I’m glad for it. I enjoyed my first lesson. It took my mind off of everything else. In some ways, it is relaxing to be a student again. I am responsible for no other person, only myself. And I do not have to pull every string in sight to get a point across – I don’t have to explain anything, don’t have to make sure my words are understood. I can just listen, and learn.
She taught me “thank you” – xie xie, and told me that I should not use this word often with close Chinese friends. Close Chinese friends have an understanding: “What’s mine is yours.” If I say thank you too much, a friend might be offended and wonder why I am being so formal.
I was also cheered up today by reading the info cards that my students filled out. All of the Freshmen students fill out information cards in their first Oral English class. I asked my students to use the blank lines at the bottom to tell me about themselves. Here are some of the messages I later read in my room:
From Kirk: “First, I fell very luckly to listen your class. I like music, football, and computer games. I come from An Yang in He Nan. At last, I fell you looked very beautiful.”
From Valerie: “Never give up. Never lose hope. I’m an active girl. I love music and reading books. I’m eager to be your friends. I’m sure we will get along well with each other. So put on your smile. We all need you!”
From Ann: “Hello, teacher, you look very beauty. And I feel you are very kind. I like reading and make friends. My favourate sport is running.”
From Shirley: “I love beautiful things! Drawing Music and so on. Oh, my teacher, you are a very beautiful woman. I love you!”
From Daisy: “My dear teacher, I like you very much. Welcome to China. I want to make friends with you very much. I want to study my spoken English well, so I want you can help me. Thank you very much.”
From Will: “Where there is a will, there is a way.”
From Holly: “I like sunlight. I like flowers and I like making friends. Now, I like speaking English. I want to be your friend: not only one of your students. I want you to feel happy when you see me.”
April: “If sleep is a sport, my favourite sport is sleep. Because I am a lazy girl. But I will not lazy in learning. I like English. But my English is very poor. So I hope that I can make a great progress by listening your teaching.”
Anna: “I always like a boy as I am a girl. I like listen music, read book, play basketball, make friends with others, and my favorite sport is badminton, and I also find I like looking at your beautiful eyes now. Welcome to our country. I think we’ll be good friends tomorrow.”
10/22/09
Had my first visit from a student last Sunday. She came to the appointment twenty minutes early and stood outside my door, waiting. I didn’t know she was there until her knock came exactly the minute I had asked her to arrive.
